Latasinha's Weblog

Social and political Values and Systems in India.

Responsibility of parents towards their children

When a couple brings a new life in this world, it is the primary responsibility of every parent to take care of their physical and mental growth in a proper way and make sure that they inculcate right values and systems in their children, so that they behave properly in a disciplined way. It is their responsibility of every parent to give to society and nation healthy, confident and responsible citizens.
Both the parents are pillars of strength for their children and are equally responsible for the healthy growth of their kids. Both of them play an equally important role in the proper growth of their sons and daughters. They are the main source of their kid’s confidence and inspiration. They are their kid’s best friends and role models.

Earlier, there used to be joint family system – usually family members of three generations living under one roof. There children need not have their mother around them all the time. There were many close relatives/ near and dear ones, who were always around then. If a child got into trouble, he would always have somewhere to go. They used to take care of their personal needs. Then came the times of nucleus families, especially in urban areas. Only husband-wife and children started living under a roof. In order to keep a balance in personal and professional life of a family, both the parents had a different role to play in the upbringing of children. Their approach to tackle family liabilities used to be different. Mothers role was to look-after the needs of the kids and give them emotional support. Father in his role as ‘the head of the family’, ‘decision maker’ or disciplinarian, provided strength and shelter to his family members. Warning by mother to “tell Papa” about kids naughtiness was enough especially for the boys.

Then compulsions of modern life forced both the parents to take up a job and earn something, As a result, they have been unable to give enough time and attention to the proper growth of their children especially at the time when children need them the most. That is the time, when the young parents are struggling for advancement in their career.
Now because of their busy schedule, modern parents believe in giving full liberty to growing up children. They believe that discipline followed by strict observance of rules adversely affects the development of children. They do not want to create a world of world of dependence for children. Some parents say that they want to give everything to their child, which they missed out or did not have. But such an effort on the part of parents prevents growth, push and energy of children to learn from those wants.
In turn, teenager/adolescent children also crave for their freedom/independence. They wait for their parents to leave the house to get on to do their own things. This is the time when they do not want their parents being around.
‘Father’s role, earlier being that of the head of the family, has changed into being an equal partner in rearing up his kid. He is expected to take time off for mothering the kids and be equally involved in their kids daily routine and upbringing, from changing diapers, cooking for them, attending PTAs, helping kids in dressing-up etc etc. Earlier mother’s tender hands used to be there all the time to take care of children’s needs during their growing up years. Now ‘father’ is supposed to perform these multi-tasks. Even in many families, he is seen spending more time with his kids than their mother. There are many stay-at-home dads, while their wives go out and work.

For modern youths, being smart means defying established rules. Young parents have become too liberal in regarding themselves as friends. As a result the element/respect of father/mother is lost somewhere. There is a section of society especially of elderly/traditional people, which thinks that poor parenting and negative role models trigger to violent behavior in dissatisfied children of today. Parents are more than a friend to their kids. They are their guru, mentor and confidant. Kids are supposed to give respect to their parents.

People are realizing that juvenile crimes are at rise because of the rapidly changing social ethos, influence of media and negative role models. Some child psychologists/experts claim  that the reaction on children for not getting adequate attention of their parents are covert aggression or internal anger, which either plunges some into depression and isolates/alienates them. Or where anger is externalized and there is intolerance towards others, it leads to violence.

 In many families, with both the parents working and having their hands full, it has become a common sight to see either kids growing all alone or in the presence of grand parents or maids. Parents remaining too busy and their not finding enough time to give required attention to their children, quite often children develop a deep-rooted sense of insecurity resulting in intolerance. In order to draw attention, many children indulge themselves in violent behavior.

Children are exposed to violent behavior through media also. In order to draw the attention of others, it makes immature children to ape blindly what they see in pictures or T.V. and become a hero. Proper monitoring at every stage of child’s growth is necessary. Adequate measures are needed to be taken, like –

  •  A careful parenting is require to inculcate in children right value system as discipline cannot be enforced. It is the duty of the parents to make their children’s character strong. It is their responsibility to inspire their children adopt right from childhood healthy ethical values, taste for healthy literature, attitude to observe norms, interaction with good people etc.
  • Parental guidance and watchful eyes are necessary till their children become adult and mature to save them from violent behavior by having greater interaction between them, giving them proper guidance, whenever is required, and keeping an eye on their activities. It will help them to nip their kid’s undesirable behavior right in the bud. Children of weak character especially from affluent families are more prone to adverse environment and peer pressure.
  •  A value based life skill education is required.
  • At frequent intervals counselling is needed. Children need counselling to sensitize them against violence. There are many cases of shooting spree in the campuses in US and other countries. It has started in India as well. Culture of knife and gun is an in thing now.

Recently there was an interesting news item reported by Telegraph, “Under a new plan considered in UK, parents of unruly youth could be forced to go back to school themselves” for lessons in parenting “or even brought to the courts…. If they still fail to keep children in line, they would face a 1000 Pound fine and a jail sentence if they do not pay.”

Parents play a vital role in improving the quality and quantity of learning in toddlers. Latest brain researches tell that first 2000 days are the most important in a child’s life, when children develop learning strategies, learn how to think and problem-solve. Children are born with billions of brain cells. Unless these are interacted with properly, they actually die off. Such programs needs to be developed that encourage the synaptic connections between those cells.

Early childhood Teaching, instruction and methodology is necessary for developing lifelong qualities in children. The parents should understand the importance to encourage children to think, ask questions and develop problem-solving ability in them. It re quires a closer and frank interaction between parents and children.

August 21, 2009 - Posted by | Uncategorized |


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